We've Been Quiet — And Here's Why 💛
Hi everyone — we've been unusually quiet lately, and you deserve an explanation. Our 50th anniversary was approaching, we had plans to reschedule our celebration, and — good thing we did — the air show landed right on Valentine's Day. Who schedules big events on Valentine's Day anyway?!
Because we're getting older and wiser, when our son extended an invite we said yes without a second thought and basically ran away from home. No regrets there whatsoever.
But wait — there's more! 💛
📞 Then a close friend called — and he needed to run away from home too. Family stress hits differently as we age. Sometimes we're part of the equation, and sometimes it's purely outside forces spinning us around like a tornado. In his case, the pull downward was audible. We took him in.
"I didn't want to be a burden… but I didn't know which way to turn."
Those words. How many seniors have felt exactly that and never said it out loud? His situation came on fast — a landlord's change of plans, a rightfully owed deposit being withheld, and suddenly no funds to bridge the gap into something else. He called in despair, saying he might sleep in his van for the night but didn't know which direction to turn after that. My husband told him: come here instead.
And here's the thing people don't realize — help exists, but it doesn't come fast. Legal aid was calendared for day eight. Resolution? Eighteen business days after that. When you have nowhere to go tonight, eighteen business days might as well be a lifetime. That gap — between the moment of crisis and the moment of resolution — is exactly where people fall through.
The Real PictureHow Does a Senior End Up Here?
The numbers alone should stop us in our tracks. According to HUD's most recent data, approximately 146,000 older adults — age 55 and up — were experiencing homelessness on a single night in 2024, a 6% increase from the year before. That's just the count on one night. And seniors are now the fastest-growing group among the unhoused — having grown from roughly 10% of the homeless population to nearly half over recent decades. Experts warn that without intervention, the population of older adults experiencing homelessness could nearly triple in major cities by 2030. Many are living in places not meant for human habitation — cars, vans, tents, forests, BLM land. And many of them, like our friend, never saw it coming.
People often assume housing insecurity is the result of poor choices. The truth is far more ordinary — and far more heartbreaking. A landlord decides to sell or renovate and a long-term tenant is suddenly out. Mortgage rates climb unpredictably and a fixed income can no longer stretch to cover them. A spouse dies, and what was a two-Social-Security household becomes one — often dropping below $1,000 a month after Medicare premiums are deducted. A medical crisis drains savings that took decades to build. A family conflict erupts and someone who was quietly couch-surfing suddenly has nowhere at all. It doesn't take recklessness. It takes one bad season of life arriving at the wrong moment.
"More seniors than ever are quietly facing housing insecurity — and most of them worked their whole lives to avoid exactly this."
Some are couch-surfing with family. Some are living week to week in motels. Some — and this truly breaks my heart — are living in their cars or vans, trying to stay warm, safe, and invisible. These are people who worked their whole lives. People just like our friend.
ResourcesHelp Exists — It Just Isn't Always Easy to Find
The good news is that support is out there. When you're exhausted and overwhelmed, though, knowing where to start matters. Here are the most important starting points:
If You or Someone You Know Is Struggling
The national social services helpline. Call or text 211 to connect with local housing assistance, food, utilities, and rental aid. Free, confidential, available in most of the U.S. This should be the very first call anyone in crisis makes.
Call or text 988, 24/7. Not just for suicide — for anyone in emotional crisis, feeling overwhelmed, or needing someone to talk to. There is now a dedicated press option for older adults.
Free and confidential, 24/7, for mental health and substance use crises.
Find benefits, rental assistance programs, and senior-specific resources. Their BenefitsCheckUp tool is particularly helpful.
Free or low-cost housing counseling for seniors facing eviction, foreclosure, or homelessness.
Every region has one. The Eldercare Locator connects seniors with housing, meals, transportation, and more in their local community.
Rental assistance programs exist too, but waitlists can be long and paperwork can be crushing when you're already emotionally depleted. Having someone walk through it alongside you — as we're doing with our friend — makes an enormous difference.
Our DaysThat's the heavy part. Here's the part that made us smile.
Because even when help exists, knowing where to turn — and then actually navigating it — is its own full-time job. Getting a wrongfully withheld deposit sorted out legally takes paperwork, patience, and someone who knows which calls to make in what order. Moving his belongings out safely meant coordinating timing, a truck, willing hands, and finding either a storage unit or a generous friend with garage space to hold everything while a new place comes together. Every one of those details depends on another detail. It's a puzzle, and it's exhausting when you're already emotionally depleted.
And that is exactly why friends matter. Not just as sounding boards — though that alone can be lifesaving — but as help in action. Someone to sit with the paperwork. Someone to back up the truck. Someone to say "come here instead" when the alternative is sleeping in a van.
Somewhere between the legal aid calendar and the storage run, our little household found its footing — and so did he. Little by little, life started feeling almost normal again.
Meanwhile, Life Has Found a Lovely Rhythm
Knowing help exists — and that we could be part of it — made all the difference. And somewhere between the resource calls and the legal aid calendar, our little household found its rhythm. We tend to look for making lemonade out of lemons.
He's helping hubby tackle long-needed projects — rearranging, hauling, clearing out the storage sheds — and hubby is happy as a clam with the extra hands. Meanwhile, I've rediscovered forgotten treasures to resell: a Bunn coffee maker, magazines for gamers, and a vintage Pepper blue vinyl closet/suitcase-style doll case from the 1960s Ideal Tammy family line. Such a nostalgic find!
There are unexpected little perks too. He handles his own cooking, so I've noticed something funny — less food waste! The odds and ends I'd normally let languish are actually getting used. And since he's here, I've finally been making the big fresh salads I love but never bother with just for myself. Small wins.
We plan to give this arrangement several months. While he heals and works through rental assistance to find a new place, we'll get a week or two to travel out of state while he holds down the fort. That's how community is supposed to work. We lean on each other.
A Little AskOne Phone Call Can Change Everything
My dad understood this deeply. For years he kept a simple habit: scheduled phone calls once a week, just to check in on friends, cheer them up, and keep those connections alive. It cost nothing. It meant everything. As we get older and the world gets busier and lonelier, that kind of intentional connection becomes even more critical.
This Week's Challenge
Pick one person — a neighbor, an old friend, someone who's been quiet lately — and call them. Not a text. A call. You don't have to fix anything. Sometimes just showing up in someone's life is enough.
And if you are the one struggling right now — with housing, with family stress, with feeling like there's no way out — please use those resources above. Start with 211. You don't have to figure it out alone.
Life throws curves. But kindness goes both ways, and things have a way of working out. They usually do.
I'll be back next week with more, but right now life has me in adjustment mode… and that's okay. One day at a time! 💛
Thanks for your patience — we're back and so grateful for this little community.
Much love,
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