When Medical Myth Becomes Manipulation

A personal reflection on medical misinformation, emotional manipulation, and the importance of setting boundaries. This post debunks myths about pediatricians in the delivery room and affirms the value of lived experience and truth.

Yesterday’s Conversation Wasn’t About Medicine—It Was About Power

Yesterday, I found myself pulled into a conversation I didn’t ask for one that blurred the lines between friendship, medical misinformation, and emotional manipulation. A longtime friend, someone I’ve known for nearly a decade, began with a familiar disclaimer: “You know I’m an asshole.” I did know. Over the years, I’ve chosen to overlook certain behaviors, chalking them up to personality quirks. But this time, the announcement felt like a warning shot.

What followed was a bizarre and emotionally charged comparison between myself and a 21-year pediatrician. The premise? That because I cannot conceive children, I must be ignorant of neonatal complications specifically, that all baby boys have breathing difficulties at birth, unlike girls, and that pediatricians are the heroic saviors in the delivery room.

Let’s pause there.

The Medical Reality: Who’s Actually in the Delivery Room?

The claim that pediatricians routinely deliver babies or perform emergency resuscitations in the delivery room is not supported by standard neonatal care protocols. Here’s what actually happens:

• Obstetricians and midwives lead the delivery process. They are trained to manage labor, delivery, and immediate postpartum care.
• Neonatal teams, including neonatologists and neonatal nurse practitioners, are called in for high-risk births or complications. These specialists are trained in neonatal resuscitation and advanced interventions.
• Pediatricians typically enter the picture after birth, conducting newborn exams, monitoring development, and providing ongoing care. They are not part of the delivery team unless there’s a specific medical reason and even then, it’s rare.

In fact, neonatologists undergo three additional years of training beyond pediatrics to specialize in the care of premature infants and critically ill newborns. They not general pediatricians are the ones who manage respiratory distress,  intubation, and other life-saving procedures in the NICU.

The Personal Blow: Weaponizing Infertility and Experience

What made this conversation especially painful was the weaponization of my inability to conceive. It was used not just as a point of difference, but as a supposed disqualifier of knowledge, empathy, and credibility. That’s not just inaccurate it’s cruel.

I’ve witnessed neonatal intensive care firsthand. A family member delivered a premature baby at six months, and the neonatal team, along with a board-certified OB, handled the situation with precision and compassion. No pediatrician was present. No heroic intervention from a generalist. Just highly trained specialists doing their job.

I’ve also worked in a hospital setting, assisting across departments. While I wasn’t privy to every detail, I never once saw a pediatrician deliver a baby or perform emergency resuscitation in the delivery room. That’s not their role. It’s not their training. And it’s not the norm.

The Emotional Undercurrent: When Myth Becomes Manipulation

So why was this story thrown at me with such force? Why the insistence that 2,000 babies were saved by a pediatrician, that awards were given, and that I must acknowledge this greatness while accepting my own inferiority?

It felt less like a medical anecdote and more like a tale of grandeur designed to impress, to dominate, or perhaps to emotionally trap. And that’s where the boundary had to be drawn.

The Decision: Choosing Truth Over Tolerance

I realized, with clarity and finality, that this wasn’t just a disagreement. It was a pattern. A need to elevate one narrative by diminishing another. A refusal to engage with evidence-based medicine, even when presented calmly and respectfully.

So I chose to step away.

Not because I lack understanding. Not because I’m incapable of empathy. But because I refuse to be gaslit by medical fiction dressed as superiority.

What Pediatricians Actually Do (Outside Doc Hollywood)

Unless they’re practicing in a small-town setting where one physician wears many hats, pediatricians typically:

• Conduct newborn health assessments
• Monitor growth and development milestones
• Administer childhood vaccinations
• Diagnose and treat pediatric illnesses
• Provide guidance on nutrition, behavior, and safety

They are essential but they are not neonatal specialists, and they do not deliver babies.

 Footnote: The Boundary

There comes a time when even decade-old friendships must be reevaluated. I am a full-time caregiver to a critically ill spouse navigating medical complexity, emotional strain, and the daily weight of advocacy. The last thing I need is to be diminished by someone who claims to care. This moment wasn’t just about misinformation it was about respect. And that’s why I chose to walk away.

What would you do in this situation?
Have you ever had to set boundaries with someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t see your truth? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Learn more about author Susang6 here