A follow-up to We've Been Quiet — And Here's Why, where we shared the story of opening our door to a senior friend facing a housing crisis. That post touched a lot of hearts. This one will make you laugh. Possibly wince. Definitely nod.
We're back with a progress report. And by progress, I mean we are still alive, which feels like an achievement.
If you missed the original story — a close friend found himself one landlord decision away from sleeping in his van, and my husband said come here instead — it's worth your time before you read this one. The numbers around senior housing insecurity in this country are staggering, and the gap between the moment of crisis and the moment of resolution is exactly where people fall through. We wrote about all of it, including the resources that actually help. This post is the lighter sequel nobody planned.
Because here's the thing about helping someone navigate a housing crisis: the emotional part is heavy and important and real. But then comes the actual moving. And the actual moving, in this case, involved a bee.
It Wasn't a Mountain of Stuff. But Oh, The Type of Stuff.
I want to be clear: it wasn't a mountain of stuff. Of course it is amazing what one can accumulate in a decade, but it was not an unreasonable amount. But the type of stuff — two boxes of paperwork that somehow weighed more than a refrigerator, paintings that required the focused reverence of a museum curator, stereos, metal detectors, and one absolutely gorgeous lamp draped in hanging crystals that swayed with every breath anyone took in the room — made every trip feel like a full-body workout combined with held breath — the kind that was audibly heard as we both exhaled after accomplishing the goal.
Each piece had its own personality. The paintings needed slow corners and held breath. The metal detectors were awkward in that particular way that only long, oddly-shaped objects can be awkward. And the crystal lamp — stunning, genuinely — required the kind of focused, don't-you-dare-bump-this energy usually reserved for carrying a very full cup of coffee across a crowded room.
Then There Was the Jacuzzi.
It needed to be measured, tilted, rotated, and essentially persuaded to fit into the van. The "one person on each corner" method lasted approximately four minutes before his grandson and I quietly took over and wrangled it into place ourselves. Less drama than expected. More satisfaction than we probably deserved. We did not discuss this. We simply nodded and moved on. That is the correct response.
The Bee Had Other Plans.
All of this happened after I drove over in a car with no A/C, windows down, enjoying what I optimistically called a breeze — until a bee arrived with velocity, flew straight into my neck, and left behind a stinger that made its presence known until the granddaughter could pull it out with her long nails — she had the best eyesight in the room, and I certainly couldn't look at it myself.
I finished the drive with it still in me because what else do you do? You show up. Someone pulled it out when I arrived. We moved on. The bee did not get a vote.
The Cat Dander Voted, Though.
Inside the house, the cat dander hit my allergies like a freight train arriving slightly ahead of schedule. Worth noting: the room we were moving had never allowed cats. I suspect they made it in while his head was turned at some point — because once we moved the mattress and leaned it against my couch, and I sat near it, the allergies arrived with their full agenda. I did not know I was allergic to cats before this day. I do not recommend discovering that particular gem of medical information this way. I am now in full de-allergizing mode at home, have done approximately four loads of laundry, and would like to formally apologize to my immune system.
For what it's worth — if you're in the same boat, whether you knew about your allergies going in or discovered them the hard way like I did — Allegra 24-hour has been my go-to, and it handles both cat dander and dust reasonably well without making you drowsy. If you're more of a Zyrtec person, that one tends to be stronger for cat-specific reactions but knocks some people out. Your call. Either way, have something on hand before you wade into a moving situation. Consider this the tip I did not have.
Quick note: I am not affiliated with Amazon or any of the products mentioned here — no commission, no partnership, just a person who learned something the hard way and wants to save you the trouble.
Some Things Require Professionals. Or at Least Better Backs.
The truly heavy pieces — the buffet and entertainment centers that look modern but were clearly constructed in 1905 from solid regret — he wisely hired help for. We are not too proud to admit when something requires professionals, or at minimum, people with better backs than ours. That is not defeat. That is wisdom. And sometimes — just sometimes — chipping in on the pro movers from the start would have been the smarter math all along.
If you're helping someone move and need vetted, reviewed help — movers, labor-only loading, junk hauling — Angi's moving guide is one of the cleaner ways to find local help without wading through the scammy end of the internet. Real reviews, real businesses. Worth bookmarking before you need it.
And Yet. 💛
We're not finished yet. The legal aid calendar is ticking, the rental assistance paperwork is in motion, and the storage situation is coming together one awkward lamp at a time. It's slow. It's real. It's exactly how this kind of help actually works — not in one dramatic gesture but in a series of ordinary, sometimes sweaty, occasionally bee-related moments that add up to something that matters.
The bee sting faded. The allergies are settling. The jacuzzi is exactly where it needs to be, and the crystal lamp made it without losing a single drop. Some things are worth the awkward, careful, handle-with-love effort.
That's still how community works. 💛
If you or someone you know is navigating a senior housing crisis right now, start with 211 — call or text, free and confidential. The full resource guide is in the original post. You don't have to figure it out alone.
And if the financial side of aging is hitting close to home — the COLA that didn't stretch, the Medicare premium that swallowed the raise, the disability approval that took a year — our contributors have been writing about exactly that. Susan's piece on why disability delays are getting worse in America is one of the most important things we've published this month. And if you or someone you love is waiting on Social Security, this post on COLA and Medicare premiums explains what nobody warned us about. Worth reading. Worth sharing.
Much love,
Alrady 💛
☕ Buy me a coffee — and while you're at it, the bee has his own mug now. Of course he does. Grab it here. 🐝
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